Behind closed doors: Battling loneliness in India

Social media, nuclear families and lost purpose fuel loneliness

Since the Covid-19 pandemic, loneliness has become an escalating issue around the world, and in India, affecting people of all age groups and backgrounds. While traditionally linked to older adults, recent studies reveal a rise in loneliness among younger generations, particularly women. Psychologists attribute this emotional crisis to urbanisation, shifting family dynamics, and societal pressures, all of which have been further exacerbated in recent years.

There are times when, despite being surrounded by loved ones, a person feels a deep ache and longing, an underlying sense that no one truly understands or reaches out.

At other times, one may experience a feeling of isolation or the absence of meaningful connection, where interactions feel fleeting and superficial as if people come and go without truly being present. During these solitary moments, a space seems to grow within, accompanied by a quiet foreboding that gradually consumes the person from within.

To some extent, this is what many people feel when they experience loneliness, not just being alone, but feeling unseen, unheard, or emotionally distant even in the company of others. Though deeply personal, loneliness also has clinical definitions.

According to PubMed Medical, a scientific  free resource supporting the search and retrieval of biomedical and life sciences literature, it has described as ‘a state of solitude or being alone,’ ‘an inability to find meaning in one’s life,’ a negative and unpleasant feeling,’ or ‘a subjective sense of disconnection tied to inadequate social relationships.’ In essence, it is not simply the absence of people, but the absence of connection.

This sense of disconnection has only intensified in recent years, especially after the Covid-19 pandemic. In 2023, the World Health Organisation revealed that 10 pc of adolescents worldwide experienced loneliness. That same year, a global survey found that 25 pc of 4.5 billion respondents described themselves as lonely. In India, the numbers are even more striking, a 2020 study published in the International Journal of Indian Psychology reported that 62 pc of adolescents in Chandigarh felt isolated, while WHO data shows that 1 in 4 children aged 13–15 experienced loneliness.

A 2021 survey by British survey firm Ipsos found that 43 pc of urban Indians felt lonely and friendless, clear evidence of the isolation the pandemic triggered. The sense of solitude was even more intense at the peak of the covid-19 crisis, with 45 pc nearly 4 in 10 saying they felt lonelier during that period.

Indians are lonely

Despite being a society traditionally rooted in close-knit communities, India is seeing an increasing sense of loneliness, especially among its younger population.

While people once lived in close proximity and formed strong social groups, shifting dynamics are now altering this fabric. Psychologists point to several key factors fuelling this rise in isolation, such as rapid urbanisation, the disintegration of traditional family structures, the pervasive influence of social media, and evolving lifestyles.

These forces are reshaping how individuals connect, with social bonds becoming more fragile and loneliness creeping in even amidst crowded cities.

Dr Karnika Anand, a Delhi-based psychologist at Mindtree, a mental health and wellness clinic, observes that the increasing loneliness among individuals usually stems from rapid urbanisation and change in the family structures.

“Rapid urbanisation has led millions to migrate to cities for education and employment, often leaving behind familial support systems. Changing family structures, with traditional joint families giving way to smaller units, has further reduced daily interpersonal interactions,” Anand tells Media India Group.

Echoing similar sentiments, Dr Archana Sharma, a clinical psychologist at Sri Action Balaji Medical Institute, also in Delhi, says the growing reliance on digital devices and shifting lifestyles have fuelled a silent surge in loneliness, cutting people off from real-world connections.

“Loneliness in India is increasing as lifestyles change rapidly. The growing dependence on digital devices has reduced real-world interactions. The pandemic only deepened this isolation, leaving many emotionally withdrawn. According to the 2022 Fortis Mental Health Survey, there has been a clear rise in emotional distress, especially among urban youth. Despite being constantly connected online, many still lack meaningful emotional support in their daily lives,” Sharma tells Media India Group.

Dr Sakshi Taneja, a senior psychologist, says that growing impatience and a sense of purposelessness are contributing to feelings of abandonment.

“A large section of the population today has lost a sense of purpose. There is very little self-identity, most of it is shaped by how others perceive them. People are constantly chasing what’s trending, just trying to get by one day at a time. The moment they achieve one goal or learn a new skill, they immediately shift to the next without pausing to reflect. The same expectations, and the same emotional patterns repeat. That is why many feel lonely, because the inner drive, the process of self-discovery and a deeper sense of direction is missing,” Taneja tells Media India Group.

Loneliness affects everyone in different ways

Loneliness affects people of all ages, differently, and its impact is particularly profound among older adults. A 2024 study published in the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine revealed that in rural areas, 66.4 pc of older adults experience loneliness, pointing to a pressing need for better support systems.

Meanwhile, data from the 2017–2018 Longitudinal Ageing Study in India (LASI), conducted by Mumbai’s International Institute for Population Sciences  Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health and the University of Southern California, showed that 20.5 pc of older adults aged 45 and above reported loneliness.

This emotional void is not arbitrary it is often rooted in deeply personal and painful life transitions.

For many older adults, loneliness stems from limited mobility, deteriorating health, cognitive decline, financial stress or the profound loss of a spouse. One telling case, reported during the Covid-19 pandemic by a news report involved an elderly man who routinely called the 1467 Elder Helpline, not for advice or emergency help, but simply because he had no one else to talk to.

After losing his wife, he found himself alone and overwhelmed, caring for a daughter with mental health issues. His repeated pleas for support went unanswered by his son, who instead began pressuring him for his share of the property. It is a stark reminder that behind every data point is a story of unmet needs and unheard voices.

It does not just affect older adults, young women are increasingly impacted. A study in International Journal of Indian Psychology using UCLA Loneliness Scale found that women scored 46.36 on average, compared to 44.80 for men, indicating higher loneliness levels.

Experts believe that loneliness is fuelled by factors like low self-confidence in social situations and the overwhelming pressure of societal expectations.

Taneja believes that the growing loneliness among women is a result of the tensions between patriarchy and the rising wave of feminism in the country.

“Women are discovering their worth and realising they can have an identity separate from partners or families. In the past, we were raised to seek validation from men, constantly asking if we should do this or that, while men never had to. Loneliness in women was more common before, but now with Instagram and trends, people are more aware of their feelings. Women seek more validation and appreciation than men, who are seen as the head of the family. Women often work in groups, which can lead to greater isolation,” adds Taneja.

But Anand points out that men are often more prone to depression than women, largely due to rigid gender norms.

“A report by Yuvaa actually found that Gen Z men are twice as likely as women to feel lonely because of gender norms. Nearly half of them said they feel the need for safe spaces where they can talk about these things without judgement,” adds Anand.

But according to Sharma, the loneliness that many women experience is also rooted in the emotional imbalance of caregiving. Women often take on the majority of caregiving responsibilities, whether at home, in relationships, or within extended families, yet they rarely receive the same level of support in return.

“Women often carry the emotional and caregiving load within families but rarely receive the same support in return. Social expectations also discourage them from expressing emotional needs. These pressures intensified during the pandemic, especially for women juggling work, home, and caregiving. A 2020 study in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry found that women, particularly in urban households, reported higher levels of loneliness than men,” adds Sharma.

Quiet impact of loneliness

But beyond the numbers and demographics, loneliness has a quiet, insidious nature. It can slip into people’s lives unnoticed, gradually taking hold without warning signs. Over time, it can emotionally drain a person, sapping motivation, dulling joy, and leaving them feeling disconnected even in familiar spaces.

According to Anand, even everyday loneliness can lead to depression, anxiety, and increased stress. When meaningful relationships are lacking, people may begin to internalise feelings of rejection or inadequacy, which can spiral into negative thought patterns and emotional distress.

“Loneliness can deeply affect both mental and emotional health. It is not just about feeling alone it is not about what that absence of connection does to a person’s sense of self. Chronic loneliness is closely linked to depression, anxiety, and stress. When people lack meaningful relationships, they often start to question their worth, feeling rejected or inadequate. That can spiral into negative thoughts, like believing they are unlovable or that no one wants to connect with them. Emotionally, it creates a kind of emptiness and numbness,” adds Anand.

According to Taneja, over time, this internal struggle can lead to social withdrawal not because the person does not desire connection, but because they begin to feel unworthy of it.

“Loneliness is a social concept, it reflects not just how many people are around you, but how connected and fulfilled you feel. It is closely tied to self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth. When someone feels alone, they start questioning themselves. Am I not good enough? Do I not deserve meaningful connections?’ You see others surrounded by friends, and you start wondering what is wrong with you,” adds Taneja.

According to Sharma, the impact of loneliness can also manifest physically, draining energy, diminishing focus, and reducing productivity, making it harder to stay engaged with even routine tasks.

“It can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and sleep problems. It increases stress and makes it harder to manage everyday responsibilities. Over time, it can weaken immunity and increase the risk of heart disease. Research from NIMHANS also shows that social isolation contributes to mental health issues across all age groups in India,” adds Sharma.